I dreamed of Nik last night. The car was wrecked but he had survived, and we were looking at new cars. Perhaps in some other dimension a luckier Nik and a relieved Desire` continue to live together in some kind of harmony.
But in this slice of space, he died, leaving a rip in my heart. Why do I keep picking at the scabs?
The sun leaks into my livingroom and I go about my daily chores. I want to be a better person for you my blue-eyed boy. I wish Nik was here.
About Me
- Desire` Aguirre
- I live in Idaho with four cats, two dogs, and two horses. A free-lance journalist, I write for The River Journal, The Reader, The Sentinel, Sandpoint Magazine and Idaho Magazine. When my son, Niko, died May 8, 2008, I became a member of the worst day club. I returned to complete my senior year at LCSC and studied parental grief for my communications research project. It is my hope that by sharing my experience, strength, and hope with other bereaved parents, I will make sense of my son's death, learn how to live without his smile, and help other's trudge through the grieving process. My son's life gave me the courage to actively pursue my passions, and I learned how to play banjo, guitar, mandolin, fiddle, bodhran, bones, mountain and hammer dulcimer, and now write songs and am a member of the old time string band, "Ruff Shodd." For fun, I also write the blog "Harold the Ghost."
Nik, Desire` and DaNae Aguirre
family reunion, 2007
2 comments:
i thought you said that you had that dream shortly after he died?
No, I had it a couple weeks ago.
love you
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