Grief is a physical force

I have learned that grief is a real physical force, like love. It is, really, an integral part of love. Indeed, the stronger the love, the harder the grief.

I have discovered not to fear grief and to handle it with respect. Like love, it can tie one in knots and drown one in despair. Like love, it causes the soul to expand and grow.

When my husband died, leaving me with two small children, I did not understand grief. I thought I had to do it all by myself and would not let others help me. My daughter’s school tried to give us a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. I felt insulted and told them no thanks. I didn’t realize that they were just trying to help us. People will fall all over themselves trying to help the bereaved and really, most of them don’t know what to do.

When Nik died, I had enough experience with grief to know what not to do. And for this round, I have reached out and utilized everything to express my grief and move through it with as much grace as possible.

So, when a neighbor saw me on the street and asked me if I wanted my yearly lamb, I said yes. He told me, “It’s free.” I said, “Thank-you.”