Boys and dogs

I wrote this for The Sentinel and it has also appeared in the Sandpoint Reader.

Dog breeders--having bred many canines into spotted stupidity (yes, I’m referring to Dalmatians) or gigantic models with a blond mentality (great Danes)--realizing the power of words, have decided to breed those short nosed atrocities, pugs, with beagles forming a new, powerful sounding breed, Bugs, or with Chihuahuas--Chugs. Cocker Spaniels crossed with Poodles become Cock-A-Poos; Bichuns with Poodles-Bich-Poos; Rat Terriers with Boston Terriers-Brats; Collies with Poodles-Cadoodles; Dachshunds with Yorkies-Dorkies. What’s next? How about a Bulldog with a Shih Tzu, creating a, you got it, Bullshit.

What’s hysterically wrong with this whole concept is that individuals actually pay mucho money for these mixed monstrosities. People, wake-up. My 92-year-old grandmother just moved to Idaho to live with my mom. Rather than start a custody battle over Tiki, my grandmother’s teacup white poodle, with my Aunty Dawn, mom left Tiki behind, promising Grandma a new Idaho canine. After Grandma settled in, Mom took her to the animal shelter to find another dog.

The animal shelter in Sandpoint, a no-kill facility, has a wide assortment of mutt mixes in a variety of sizes and shapes. Unfortunately, they did not have a white teacup poodle. However, they did have Chihuahuas. Grandma picked the smallest white one, proclaiming, “He looks just like Tiki.” No surprise, she named him Tiki-Too. Tiki-Too sits on Grandma’s lap, eats from her hand and makes a wonderful companion. Best of all it only cost $85 (which included neutering) to adopt him. Chihuahua pimps charge between $250-$500 for an unspayed Chihuahua.

One of the best things I did for my son, Nik, was let him adopt a dog at the animal shelter. He begged for a dog, saved his allowance and convinced me to let him have one. Nik purchased a perfect pet for $30. That animal, “Cholo,” a black lab something-or-other mutt (Lab-A-Mix or Mixed-Up-Lab), bonded with Nik, helped raise him and taught him responsibility and how to care for another creature.

The animal shelter has a 10 day money back return policy. For the first week, Nik threatened to return Cholo every day. But Cholo, in all his puppy-hood glory, always won his way back into Nik’s heart. Nik bought Cholo squeak toys (babies) and gave him a special bone every Christmas morning.

When Nik moved to Calif., he called Cholo every week on his cellphone. After Nik graduated from Long Beach Job Corp, he returned to Idaho. Nik would use Cholo to spend time with me, coaxing him up on my bed (off-limits) where I studied. The three of us, Cholo in the middle, a 16-year-old boys excuse to be so close to his mom, hung out together, talking about school, music, computers, life, and of course, Cholo breaking the rules and sitting on the bed.

After Nik died in a senseless car accident, Cholo grieved. One morning I put a picture of Nik on my bed next to one of his favorite shirts. That afternoon, I found Cholo curled around the picture, using the shirt as a pillow.

I took Cholo to the crash site and Cholo showed me where Nik died. “Here, Mom,” he seemed to say, using his nose, tail and body language. The police report I received later confirmed Cholo’s finding.

Cholo had a difficult time at Christmas. He carried around one of his old babies, waiting for his boy to come home for the holiday. He got his traditional bone Christmas morning, but what he really wanted, Nik, never materialized, and Cholo pouted around the house, not even walking over to Jenny’s for his morning treat.

Cholo sleeps on my bed now, and worries about me when I’m gone. He patrols the premises and visits my sister every morning. When Cholo dies, I will bury him in Nik’s memorial garden with four pawfuls of Nik’s ashes. The boy and his dog will be reunited. Every boy, I think, needs a dog, and every dog deserves a special boy.

A Tiki-Too or a Cholo Lab-a-Mix awaits you at the local animal shelter--kind-hearted companions serving jail sentences through no fault of their own, living behind bars, fixed, vetted and ready for a good home. Please don’t get caught up in the word games of breeders. Go to the local animal shelter and adopt a Tiki-Too instead of spending big bucks on a Bullshit breed.