Dear Lord

Dear Lord,

Someone told me there are no mistakes

That everything is part of your plan

I said that I couldn’t get behind that

On account of a child gone too soon

And wars and racism

And of course, the orange menace

Elected to the office of president.

What shall I do?

Should I hide under my covers

Shiver with despair?

Wonder at your supposed all knowing

All seeing eye.

I said I think the god, or the gods,

Or my personal preference, the goddess,

Gave us free choice.

That gravity and alcohol, not you, killed my son.

Because I could never forgive you for that.

Because he deserved a second change.

I remember that song, freedom is just

Another word for nothing left to lose,

And that’s what I felt when my son—

The car flipped ejecting him through the windshield—

Died. Like I had nothing left to lose.

But that’s when you came in

You became my shelter

My pillow, a soft cushion stuffed

With memory foam so I could

Sleep and dream of the before

The beginning of his end

At first I woke up screaming

A howl of rage, of pain, a wild thing

That scared my daughter

So I stuffed a rag drenched

With my tears in my mouth

An effort to save her ears

Dear Lord, the blessing, I suppose

Is that I can feel your presence

In my heart in the stillness of the morning

When I walk the dog to Herrmann pond

When I hear the geese honking their song

When the Blue Heron lifts his wings

In harmony to take flight

A graceful dance.

A forgiveness

A gift.

Dear lord,

Thank-you for that.