Giving Back

My son, Nikolas Jesus Aguirre, died in a car accident caused by drinking and driving. Worst yet, he was the drunk driver; a seatbelt would have saved his life. But he had the malady of youth, the belief that he would live forever, and so, he died a tragic death that has changed my life forever.

Last week, an old friend came to visit. She had witnessed the birth of my son, and although we hadn’t seen each other for more than eight years, our connection was still strong. I explained to her that the missing still continued to burn a hole in my heart, but that I had many outlets for my grief that made life bearable.

When I told her about performing at drug court graduations, she got teary eyed, and told me about a father that had lost his daughter to cancer 20-years-ago. He had the opportunity to participate in the make a wish foundation to help another child struggling with cancer. Financially, he could help support this endeavor, but physically and mentally, he could not.

At the last drug court graduation, a friend of my son’s graduated from the program. He held his baby daughter in his arms, his face lit up like a thousand stars, his life unfolding in a positive direction, with infinite possibilities.

There was a time when I would have been angry, sad, and incapable of witnessing this event, because my son would never hold his child in his arms. I’m grateful that I can give back, and was able to see this other young man’s infant daughter, to give him a hug, and to tell him, I am so proud of you.

I miss you Niko, everyday.