Stronger Than Ever

People think I am stronger than ever. But it’s simply not true. Sometimes horrible things happen, and the cards we are dealt are simply, the cards we are dealt. I wish I could cheat at cards, and could give myself 5 aces or a full house. I wish Nik had lived and that I had a finished barn and a white picket fence. I wish I had been given a different cross to bear.

The trick, I suppose, is accepting the hand, and getting out of bed in the morning and lacing up your shoes. Certainly, Velcro helps considerably, as does surrounding my self with family and friends. That, I suppose, is the true gift.

Today, gray skies cry rain and a wicked wind brings with it the scents of spring. The snow recedes revealing the rocks the snowplow dredged up. Everyday I move a wheelbarrow full back to the driveway where they belong. Daffodils push their green heads out from the muddy ground, whispering for warmth and sunshine so they can give birth to radiant yellow flowers that mirror the sun. The horses wallow in their bog, rolling in the dirt, playing tag and digging for the new shoots of grass that I can see if I look hard enough, splayed out on the ground on my knees, picking up the unwanted gravel so that the new grass can survive.